Recently I wrote about the swarm of butterflies inhabiting my stomach as my day of therapy drew near. Well, that day was yesterday and I’ll have to say it wasn’t as frightening as I thought it would be. I mean, I guess I knew it was a good thing which is why I went for it, but at the same time the idea of therapy is a bit daunting. I went in there with the mindset of “I’m not going to be afraid or hold back.” I would just try my best to spill what I’m feeling. Which I did, rather awkwardly. This is something a little difficult for me because I’ve grown up not expressing how I feel. I can be a great listener when I put my mind to it and really care about other people and their problems, unfortunately I grew up around people who didn’t return that favor. Maybe I wouldn’t have even expressed what was bothering me if I had the chance.
Anyway, my therapist was lovely and made me feel comfortable. Since it was only the first day, I can’t say anything great really happened, but I was expecting that. The fact that I liked her was promising. I tend to ramble around in circles when I talk and also crack sarcastic jokes, so I had the therapist laughing…which is I guess a good thing? Of course, she did ask me to keep track of my dreams and write them down since I have such vivid ones so that we can analyze them. Personally, I’ve always been a skeptic when it comes to dream meanings. I know a lot of people believe in this and I do find it interesting, and maybe it does work for some, but for me I know what my dreams are. They’re crazy, so unless it means I’m crazy, then they’re just what I think they are- the works of an overactive imagination.
Take for instance my first dream to write down which was last night. Very detailed, but to quickly sum it up in a nutshell, I was in a film crew for a show like “My Strange Addiction” or whatever it’s called. The guy’s addiction was raising a bunch of pets (cockatiels, puppies, ferrets to name a few) and eating them alive. I, of course, was horrified and tried to run off all Clarice Starling-like with one of the pets when I saw it happen. He ended up chasing me down, and pinning me on the ground with a knife, intent on taking my life. So, we’ll see how she analyzes that. Despite my skepticism when it comes to dream analysis, I feel like this is going to be a good thing and I’m glad I took that plunge. I’m proud of myself. Even though I’ve only been to one session, I encourage anyone else who may be like I was, suffering but unsure if they should seek help, to just go for it. Give it a chance. It’s definitely, if anything, a calming experience which my emotions needed. And hey, maybe you’ll learn why you dream such things as being chased by pet eating maniacs. ;)
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and they will come forth later in uglier ways.” Sigmund Freud