And this too shall pass…

-I always remember my grandmother using this quote when times were tough.

Here I am saying I’m going to write in my blog at least once a week and now it’s been over two weeks since I’ve last been on here. In my defense, I’ve had dreadful internet at work (our new office building is having issues) so that’s been one factor. Another, not so much in my defense, would be that I’ve just been in a slump. I haven’t had the energy or desire to write at all. I can’t even seem to find the drive to work on my creative writing, even though that usually can be an escape for me. I’m just in one of those “I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going” state of minds.

My relationship has gone pretty sour. I take a good bit of blame of course, but I can’t help but feel like I’m trying to make things work. But when one person tries and the other doesn’t…it will never be fixed. I’ve never been in love, despite the many relationships I’ve been in, and I’m not sure I actually can. That’s always been a frustration for me because I watch the world fall in love around me, and yet despite the wonderful people I’ve had in my life, I just can’t ever get to that point. I have no idea what it feels like.

As delightful as LA can be, I also find myself tiring of the fast paced empty Hollywood lifestyle that comes with the entertainment business and I’ve had this strong desire to just pack up and leave it all behind. I find myself becoming so drained by the alcoholic infused parties with the shallow minds and banter and games that are continually played. Having to act a certain way and look a certain way, it has a very claustrophobic feel. I get this urge to just runaway somewhere full of big beautiful land where I can have as many animals as I want. I can finally buy that horse I’ve longed for since I was a child and I can grow gardens full of vegetables and swim in the ocean, or gaze at the mountains.

Yeah, so that slump that probably happens in most people’s lives has kind of hit me at the moment. Who I am kidding though? I’m always in a slump. Just call me Ms. Misery. But once I figure out a way to break through- and find what I really want to do and where I want to be in life- I bet it’s a lovely feeling.

 

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8 thoughts on “And this too shall pass…

  1. HI there, blogwalking here.

    It seems you’re going through a bit of a hard time. Well, for me, the blogosphere is another place to escape. I’ve moved away from my family to get work experience in an unfamiliar territory and one of the ways I kept my sanity is constant contact with my blogger buddies :)

    Well, have a happy Thursday and happy blogging!
    http://www.theokayarms.com

  2. Your grandmother was right,,though some days I’m sure you would swear that she wasn’t. Every person who loves to write has days when they don’t want to touch a keyboard, or a pen or pencil.I know that I have way too many of those days.

    I’m sorry to hear about your relationship. I hope it gets better soon. Unlike the movies or television, love sometimes grows over a long period of time rather that hitting you between the eyes.

    I hope you know that the people who follow or blog want only the best for you, and that you are feeling better about yourself soon.

  3. Well you arent alone dear…we all have this kind of sick feelings at time…when you just want to run away and leave everything behind you and start a fresh…where no one can find us…but like your grand mother said this too shall pass…stick around you are tough girl :)

    • Thank you, Aarya! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. And I don’t mean that in a “I’m so glad others are miserable too!” way. ;) I love hearing about the strength of others dealing with their issues in life and making it through.

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